Rewards. Rewards. Rewards.

     I took a personality test once administered by my lovely wife. When I was done taking this test, it gave Biblical leaders that, based on their accounts in the Bible, had the same personality traits I do. Abram/Abraham was my guy. The first thing that came to my mind, "Oh man, the guy that sold out his wife to the pharaoh.... what guy..... why couldn't I get like, Jesus or something?" 

     

     My curiosity eventually made me eat my own words. I decided a year ago to go a 12 week study on Genesis. Thanks to my wonderful go-getter attitude, a year later, I'm on week 5. Well needless to say it's impossible to study Genesis, the beginning of HaShem's relationship with Creation, without studying the microcosmic story of Abraham. Here's what I have gathered about my kindred leader:

     He's not perfect, neither am I.

     Despite HaShem bestowing glory on Abram by blessing his offspring. Abram was wrought with faithlessness. I know that faithlessness isn't something I should play up, but stick with me. I quickly learned of Abram's short comings. not just his dealings with spiritual pollution in Egypt, but how he raised himself up out of his insufficiencies and reaffirmed his relationship and faith in HaShem and his promises. 

     How can I model this?

     Abram, after he was done in Egypt, did something. He left Egypt, a spiritually dark time for him. It effected his relationship with G-d, even when G-d intervened and brought plagues on Egypt and restored Sarai to Abram, despite Abram not relying on HaShem's protection. Abram then left Egypt he made his way to the Negeb, to the altar that he built for the LORD, and then invoked the name of HaShem, then moved to Bethel, a place that was higher physically than Egypt and more fruitful than the Negeb. Despite dropping the ball, which is something I can get good at, Abram didn't trek on from that failure, he moved back to the last place G-d spoke to him, then spiritually reconfirmed himself. After having restored himself, He moved to Bethel, a better place to be. 

      Abram, didn't take the mistake and built off the mistake, he instead removed it, and built off the firmness of the LORD and moved forward. 

     Abram clung to the promise of G-d.

     Even in Abram's faithlessness (the questioning of the fulfillment of the Covenant) He still clung to the promise given to him. Abram, in the midst of waiting for the fulfillment of the covenant began to lose his way. HaShem, responds by reminding Abram of His aid and involvement. 

     Abram had prepared an offering, which in this culture, was used during the confirmation of a covenant. You would pass between the split carcasses meaning that if you broke this covenant you would be split apart as consequence. Abram noticed that a burning pot of smoke and burning torch passed between the carcasses. Suggesting that G-d was ratifying the covenant. To reaffirm Abram's faith.

What I should remember:

"G-d's blessing and promise do not flow out of Abram's obedience; but rather, Abram's faith and obedience are a response to G-d's lavish promises." 

Goodness and Grace are never the reward for belief, but my faith should always be the response to the flow of Grace and Goodness.

Leadership and Responsibility are not given to me because I deserve them, instead they should be the response to example that has been laid out for me. I should take up my position (no matter where or what that is) not because it is what is owed to me (which it isn't) it should be because G-d has called me to, and has allowed me to do so. Leadership is a response, not a reward. Our Faith in the promise of Christ should not be to receive life instead our belief and faith should be the response to the offer of salvation. I don't want to love because I get a reward, I want to love because I am loved first. I don't want to work to get a paycheck, I want to work because it's my duty.

Genesis 11-16

Where do I go from here?

     During our Good Friday service we were given the chance, as a visual illustration, to write what separates us from the Love and Power of God onto a piece of cloth that represents the veil. 

     I wrote two words on my piece of cloth, “inadequacy” and “qualifications.” I wrote them on the veil and tore that little piece of red cloth and set it in the offering basket at a broken offering to my God, to consume and remove from me.

     When I wrote those words, I very much expected to be in conflict with them. Giving your Humanity and what separates you from God a name, tends to create conflict in your spirit in order to remove those barriers from your life. I don’t find myself in conflict with pride, lust, or gluttony and sometimes I do wish I was. However, my separation from God, and everything else for that matter, is inadequacy, and ineligibility to do God’s work. To minister to students, to live a life with my wife. What kills me is my inadequacy. Whether it’s at work and not having proper credentials, or ministry and not having experience. 

     God created me with Himself in mind. When God began Creation, it was incomplete. In need of the perfection to complete it, to make it good. So God set in motion the series of events that will eventually lead to the reunification of Creation to Himself, through Jesus Christ. I understand that I am incomplete and in need of perfection to intervene in my life. That in all my “goodness," I can never be deserving of a life with God.

     This paltriness leaches itself into other parts of my life. I find myself at odds with...myself. I never graduated from “real” college. I don’t have pieces of paper that signify myself as someone “qualified” to perform ministry and the acts that are associated with it. Sometimes when it comes to fighting for what I believe in, in order to see the Kingdom of God established on the Earth. As a young man in the body of Christ, I know that I will have to face adversary through out my stint in leadership within the Church. However, one tool designed to save me, instead sometimes cripples me to the point of laying down. 

     Moses had his speech problem, Jacob had his past to contend with, Paul had Saul the list goes on, I have my lack of credentials (human papers). Through all of this I understand and have to know, that in order for the world to come back into alignment with God, there needs to be conflict. There has to be someone who is “not qualified” to step up and have tough conversations, take leadership and lead individuals towards Christ. 

     My name is Ryan Hansen, I am called to the Ministry of Jesus Christ, in order to spread, show and give the Love that has so redeemed me. Whether I am afflicted in ever way, perplexed, persecuted, or struck down. I will gird my loins and carry on. Pray for me and my wife, I’m getting back on that horse. 

• Inadequacy
• Qualifications