Where does my desire end, and Christ begin.

Matthew 5 says, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven." Who are the poor in spirit? I'm poor, I know that. I know that my wallet doesn't have a lot of monies. But, how can I allow this beatitude to become who I am?


There's two sides to this question:
     The Bible tells me that if I belong to Christ, then my sinful nature has already been crucified, and therefore should be dead; however, in practice I find that I still struggle between myself and the will of God. Knowing what to do, but not always doing. Grace is evident in my life. I may not be a drug dealer or a rapist or a tax collector, but I know that grace is just as necessary for my life as it is for everyone else. I know that I am being refined; and, knowing that, my mind wants me to be refined and done. So I can go one living a redeemed life, one where I'm saved and that's that. I know that the opposite is true. I'll never be done with refinement. I'll never be ready to take hold of what God has called me to, unless I am given it, by the Great Giver. So why would the Word of God tell me that I am free from the chains of sin. Well, with all the Metaphysical knowledge that I have been gifted with, I can only come to the conclusion that I am not ready to fully understand the process of salvation. I know that I can only know that even though the consequence of sin can be taken and paid for, the struggle between sin and my flesh's ability to fall to temptation still exists. Which makes sense.

Hard work pays off, for a little while.
     What am I working for? Am I working for the ability to show and say all that I have accomplished? I am I working for my resumé? To be able to show a potential employer that I can do some things and then learn to do more things? God tore down the Tower of Babel, which is an account of humanity seeking self accomplishment and glory, and scattered the whole of the human race. However, when YHWH spoke with Abram and established a covenant with him to make Abram a great nation, to bring Abram glory. How can I find that balance between, my own glory and blessing from the LORD? Should my hard work supplement my provision from G-d? Is becoming poor in spirit separate from becoming reliant on God for everything else? Should I only be poor in spirit then work for everything else, because G-d will provide the Kingdom of Heaven for me; however, right now, while I breathe, I should be playing by the rules of the world?

For serious now.
     The Beatitudes (Matthew Chapter 5:1-12) are still radical, even 2000 years later. The goal of a 21st century follower of Christ is to live by Biblical, not modern standards. Being poor in spirit isn't being helpless. Being poor in spirit isn't compartmentalizing my spiritual life and the rest of my life. It's 100% being 100% dependent on provision from G-d. I believe we as Christians are caught in a tumultuous social struggle. Between what is expected of us as citizens of the modern, tax-paying, logical world and what is expected of us as followers of Christ. I also believe that we should be caught between those two things. We should fall under one category. Living differently so that others will see and take notice, not by wearing christian t-shirts or carrying the Bible everywhere we go, or with a bumper sticker on our car. Our total dependence on the Grace of Christ should be our distinguishing trait. We should be living our lives, and knowing that all that we have is given by Kingdom Authority. All that we receive is possible because God, the Father created this place. We breathe and are delivered because of God, the Father's love. We owe all that is existence to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I will always worry about making bills, I will always worry if I'm going to have a heart attack and die, and what would happen to my family (which consists only of my lovely wife and dog.) but I understand that all of creation moves because it is moved to do so.

It will be ok. If I am poor and destitute, I will praise G-d for I will be rescued and healed. Isaiah brings these promises. They are fulfilled with Jesus in the Gospels and will be fulfilled by the second coming of Christ.

I want to experience the healing and safety of the arms of God.

"I'll not be satisfiedtill my hopes and my eyesboth align on that view
there leaving longing behindI'll discard my desirewhen I'm resting in you."

If only I can experience rest. true rest.